Published on July 16, 2021

9 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

relationship red flags, red flags in relationships, red flags you should avoid

We often assume that everyone has good intentions and is going to be there for us. Most of the time this is true. However, you will come across people in your life that do not have your best interest at heart. Being aware of these red flags will give you an idea of how unhealthy/ healthy your relationship is, while also avoiding any bad relationships in the future.

Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

While this is not a complete list, these are some of the red flags that you need to pay attention to. If you are in a relationship and some of these red flags resonate with you, it does not necessarily mean your relationship is over. You will just need to address these red flags with your partner as it may lead to further problems in your relationship.

1. Your Partner Invalidates You

Invalidation occurs when your partner rejects, dismisses, or denies your feelings.

An example of invalidation:

You: I feel like our relationship isn’t the same as it used to be. It doesn’t seem like you love me anymore since you never want to spend time with me and constantly ignore me.

Them: Are you kidding me? That’s so stupid. I just took you on a date a few days ago and told you that I loved you.

Even though your partner does not agree with how you are feeling, that does not change how you feel. Your partner should address your concerns and should have an open and honest conversation with you. They should encourage you to elaborate on how you are feeling while attempting to understand your perspective. Once you have shared your feelings, they should ask for advice on how they can be a better partner and what they can do to show you how much they love you.

2. Your Partner Is Manipulative

Manipulation is a HUGE red flag. Those who manipulate you make you feel an enormous amount of guilt and oftentimes use your emotions against you. More often than not, someone who is manipulating you will act as though they are the victim in an attempt to find your weakness and control you. This may be subtle, however, they manipulate you for their own personal gain, possibly without you even being aware of it.

An example of manipulation:

Them: I can’t believe you are going out with your friends tonight. Don’t you love me and just want to spend time with me?

While they may say this in a soft, sarcastic tone, this is manipulation. They are attempting to pressure you into hanging out with them while making you feel guilty for wanting to spend time with your friends. Do not fall for their manipulation.

3. They Disregard Boundaries

During the early stages of any relationship, you may not have boundaries set in place. However, if you do have boundaries and your partner is constantly crossing them, this is a red flag. Regardless of the boundaries that you have in place, your partner should respect them. If your partner continues to disregard your boundaries, you will need to communicate this to them and let them know that it will not be tolerated.

4. Your Partner Is Overly Critical

I am sure we can all agree that criticism, especially coming from someone you love is not the easiest thing to hear. There is a big difference between constructive criticism and being overly critical. Your partner should be honest with how they feel about you while giving helpful feedback that allows you to make positive improvements. If your partner is being overly critical about you and is always seeking out the negatives in the way that you look, behave, etc, you need to let them know. You can inform your partner that you do not take their criticism lightly and would appreciate it if they could be more selective in the way in which they provide the criticism.

5. They Pressure You To Engage In Intercourse

Your partner should never pressure you into engaging in sexual activities when you do not want to.

An example:

You: I am really tired, and I don’t want to have intercourse tonight.

Them: Really? Let’s just do it. Prove that you love me.

After their response, you may feel as though you are obligated to have intercourse with them. You may believe that if you do not intercourse with them, they will go have it with someone else, or they will be upset with you. This is not okay. Your partner should never make you feel as though you are obligated to do something at any moment that you do not want to do.

With that being said, it can be uncommon for both partners to want to engage in intercourse at the same time. One of you may have a higher sex drive than the other. Or one of you may want to only have intercourse once a week, while the other person wants to do it daily. This is when you have to effectively communicate to your partner how often/ when you would like to have intercourse. Hopefully, once they hear your side, you guys will come to a compromise on when you will engage in intercourse.

6. They Attempt To Isolate You From Friends and Family

It is a huge concern if your partner attempts to isolate you from your friends and family. In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to freely spend time with their friends and family when they wish to do so.

An example of isolation:

Them: Just stay home with me tonight. You don’t need to see your parents, you can see them next weekend.

You: But I made plans for dinner with them last week. I want to spend time with them.

Them: Come on, you love me and would rather spend time with me! Don’t go.

You may be blinded and think they are being sweet and want to spend more time with you. Do not be fooled. This is a controlling behavior that should not be accepted. If you have plans with family or friends, your partner should respect that.

7. They Won’t Compromise or Apologize

We all know that relationships can be complicated. No partner is perfect. There are going to be bumps in the road where you are unable to see eye to eye. While you may feel betrayed or hurt by your partner, they may feel as though they did nothing wrong. It is a red flag when your partner is unwilling to compromise or apologize to you when they have done something that has upset you.

8. You Can’t Trust Them

Trust is the foundation of every relationship. If you and your partner do not trust each other, your relationship is going to fail. You should be able to trust your partner and know that they would never do anything to hurt or betray you. If you have a lack of trust in your partner, you will not feel secure which will cause further issues as your relationship progresses.

9. Abusive Behavior

Abusive behavior is not okay under any circumstance. Whether it is verbal, emotional, or physical abuse, it should never be allowed in your relationship. If you believe that you are being abused, please reach out to the National Domestic Abuse Hotline, and an advocate will help guide you through your abuse while providing you with resources and support. You can chat with them online via the website, or you can call them at1-800-799-7223 or text “START” to 88788.

Final Thoughts

I hope that these red flags help you understand what is not to be accepted in a relationship. Even if these red flags do not resonate with you at this time, you should always be aware of them. As mentioned previously, just because one of these red flags is obvious in your relationship, it does not mean your relationship has to end. However, if you have addressed these red flags with your partner and they are not willing to change, it may be a sign that you need to walk away.