We all experience jealousy in some form. You know, that feeling of a knot in your stomach that can cause you to do things that hurt other people just so that you can take control. It is normal to feel jealous from time to time, but how you deal with these feelings matter more. Do you struggle to try to figure out how to deal with jealousy issues in your relationship? If so, here are some tips to help you deal with any jealousy issues you may be experiencing.
How To Deal With Jealousy Issues In A Relationship
1. Understand what jealousy is
Jealousy usually refers to thoughts or feelings of insecurity over a lack of possessions that can result in anger and resentment. Jealousy always comes from a place of insecurity that you project on others. Jealousy is human nature and it is inevitable that we all experience jealousy at some point in our lives. However, we must learn how to not let this jealousy take control of our life.
2. Recognize that you are being jealous
An important first step in dealing with jealousy issues is to recognize that you are being jealous in the first place. Usually, when we feel jealous, we can start arguments and say passive-aggressive comments which only creates further issues. Do not react to this jealousy out of anger. Take a deep breath and think about why you are feeling this way. By recognizing this jealousy and taking time before you react, you will be able to effectively communicate these feelings with your partner.
3. Realize it is most likely a YOU problem
Harsh, I know. But if you are feeling insecure in your relationship, it most likely always traces back to something about yourself. If you notice that you are feeling jealous, you should ask yourself what you have done recently to focus on yourself. For example, if get jealous when your partner talks to people of the opposite sex, and think your partner may find someone better, this may be because you feel less than. If you want to feel better in your own relationship, you have to feel better about yourself first.
3. Become the person you aspire to be
Take some time to think deeply about what kind of person you aspire to be. How do you spend your time, who do you spend your time with, what do you want to be doing in your life? The moment that you stop trying to improve yourself, is the same moment that you let your relationship go. Become the person of your dreams so that you can be the person that your partner wants. Once you become more attracted to yourself and the person you are becoming, your relationship will change and move forward in the right direction.
4. Look at your relationship from another perspective
Take a step back from your relationship and look at it from a new perspective. Maybe look at your relationship through the lens of one of your closest friends. Do you think you would feel as though you are overreacting, or would you be worried? When we look at our relationship from a new perspective, it allows us to see more clearly.
5. Create a safe place to communicate with your partner
It is easy to have imaginary arguments in our head and overanalyze every situation, however, this is no help to you. Both you and your partner must be able to communicate your feelings with each other free of judgment. Let your partner know your feelings and allow your partner to express their point of view. By effectively expressing your feelings with your partner, it will build more trust, leaving you both to feel more secure in your relationship. It would also be beneficial to talk about what boundaries could be set in place to prevent these jealous feelings from happening in the future.
6. Remind yourself that you deserve to be loved
Sometimes when we are experiencing jealousy, it is because we think that we don’t deserve love, or that our partner could be with someone better than us. This simply is not true and you need to immediately disregard these thoughts. You deserve to be loved and to love others!
7. Understand that you do not have control over anything except for your inner world
We do not have control over what other people do, say, or how they think. We only have control over ourselves. If you are in a situation that made you feel jealous, you do not have the power to control that situation, but rather you do have the power to control how you react and respond to something.
If your partner does something that triggers you to make you feel jealous, you have to decide how you want to react. These moments of jealousy shine a spotlight on these insecurities you have, giving you the chance to improve them. The reality is, it is normal for your partner to find other people attractive. However, at the end of the day, you must realize your partner is with YOU for a reason. If you continue to compare yourself to other people, you will always be in the same position.
8. Let go of any past relationship worries
You may be experiencing jealousy due to something that happened in a past relationship. You may be worried about your partner cheating because it has happened in your past relationship, or you have seen it happen to other people in your life. Realize that your current relationship has nothing to do with something that has happened in the past.
I hope that you find these tips for dealing with jealousy in a relationship useful. As mentioned earlier, jealousy is human nature and you should not feel bad about yourself for having these feelings. Acknowledge, recognize and communicate these feelings to your partner. Remember that you only have control over yourself and how you react to situations.