Are you someone that struggles with loving yourself? Do you struggle with believing that you are good enough and worthy? Maybe you are someone that thinks about what it would feel like to truly love yourself and embrace all that you are.
Life indeed has its ups and downs. There will be days where you feel on top of the world. While there will be other days where you are lacking confidence and think that you will never find happiness within yourself. We have all been there.
Being a recent college graduate with no true “plan” for what happens next, made me feel worthless. I felt stuck in my life and was the most insecure person I knew. I remember the countless times I would sit on the edge of my bed and think to myself how much of a failure I was. People would constantly judge me because I didn’t have my life planned out, which shattered my confidence. However, one day, it all just clicked for me. It was essential to change my mindset and my attitude towards life. I was not going to live for other people, rather I was going to live for myself and pursue my dreams. I have learned to love myself again and embrace the unknown. Below are the tips for how to love yourself again, despite the hardships you may have endured.
Tips For How To Love Yourself Again
1. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
We are all guilty of comparing ourselves to other people. I am sure you have been at a gathering, or passed by someone and thought to yourself, “wow, I wish I looked like them.” Comparison is a bad habit and makes you feel as though you are not good enough. When we compare ourselves to others, our mind is filled with self-doubt which directly affects our confidence level and how we see ourselves.
It is easier said than done, but the first step in loving yourself again is to stop comparing yourself to others. You must focus on yourself and appreciate who you are. No one on earth that looks like you, thinks like you, has the same life as you. You are special and you should embrace that!
2. Do A Social Media Cleanse
It is not a surprise that most of us are heavily addicted to social media. According to Social Media Week, “56% of users shared they were afraid of missing something important online. It was also estimated, in another research, that an average person spends approximately 135 minutes per day on social media.” With social media, it allows us to constantly compare ourselves to others. When we do not look like the people we observe on social media, we become self- conscious and want to change every little thing about ourselves. I recommend deleting social media for a few months or even set limits for the amount of time that you can spend on social media. I promise it will be worth it and you will notice a major difference in your confidence level.
3. Focus On Self Care
Self-care is so important when you are learning how to love yourself again. You should do whatever it takes to feel your best every day. Start to take yourself on dates, dress nicely, make yourself a fancy dinner and put on a movie, etc. You must put yourself first before you are able to love anyone else.
4. Journal Your Feelings
Journaling is one of the best forms of self-expression. It allows you to connect with yourself, and think deeply about your feelings. By writing down your feelings, you can begin to understand why you feel the way you do and discover what may be holding you back from reaching your full potential. I carry my journal with me everywhere I go. When there are days that I am especially hard on myself, and things aren’t going the way I had hoped for, I write it down. Instead of holding in your feelings, journal them and begin to think about what you can do better to avoid these feelings in the future.
5. Read Self Help Books
Self-help books have been one of the biggest blessings in my life. They provide you with the tools and give you insight into your life and how you can change your life for the better. You will begin to learn more about yourself, and what habits you can incorporate into your life. Here is a list of some of my favorite self- help books.
- The Secret
- How To Win Friends And Influence People
- Unfu*k Yourself
- Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
6. Journal Positive Affirmations
Affirmations help reprogram your mind. I strongly encourage you to find the things that you really love about yourself and journal them. Here are some of the positive affirmations I journal and say out loud to myself every day.
- I am beautiful
- I am unique
- I am creative
- I am powerful
- I am strong
- I am selfless
- I am motivated
- I love my body
- I love all that I am
7. Write A List Of Your Flaws
I know how crazy this may sound. You may be thinking, why on earth would I point out all my flaws? Believe me when I say this is so important to your self- love journey. You need to remember that we are all human, we are not perfect. There are always going to be things that you do not like about yourself, or wish that you could change. Embrace all that you are, including these flaws and weaknesses.
8. Think About The Traits You Love In Someone Else (Family Member, Friend, Celebrity, Coworker)
Take the time to think about someone whom you truly admire. What makes them special? What are some of your favorite traits they possess? For me, it’s my mother. She is the most selfless person and always goes out of her way to make sure that everyone around her is taken care of. Often putting their needs above her own. Furthermore, when she does this, she does not expect anything in return. I love this about her and always looked up to her for this.
I knew that I wanted to be the same person who engages in these selfless acts. I started doing things for people and noticed an instant change in my mood. I have learned to love going out of my way for others. Even something as simple as picking up a coffee for a coworker, or buying a friend a small gift for my token of appreciation.
Regardless of who this person is, take this trait you admire about them and apply it to your own life. If you begin to incorporate your favorite traits of those around you, you will love yourself more.
I hope that you found these tips helpful and begin to love yourself again. Accept yourself for who you are and trust the process. Remember you are worthy and deserving of all the love in the world!